Nonfiction: Notes on a Silencing by Lacy Crawford

When I was doing my research in early July, like I do at the beginning of every month, I came across Lacy Crawford's Notes on a Silencing. So far, 2020 has been a good year for me when it comes to engrossing and engaging nonfiction, and this sounded like a book that would continue the trend, though I feared it would also be hard to read. A young girl, a prestigious boarding school, a long history of abuse and secrecy...it is a story we hear too often, but getting to the truth is necessary for change. 

Genre, Themes, History: This is a nonfiction book that is mostly set in 1990-1991. During these years, Crawford was a student at St. Paul's School in Concord, New Hampshire. One night she would receive a phone call from an older male student, almost begging her to come to his room. When she got there, she would be sexually assaulted by him and one other. What comes next is a high school experience filled with shame, embarrassment, insecurity, and confusion, along with other things. This would be followed by decades of simultaneously wanting to leave what happened behind, while also wanting to bring the school to justice. While the act itself is heinous, what is also appalling is the lengths the school will go to in order to keep everything quiet. And what is further revealed is St. Paul's long history of covering up incidents of sexual misconduct among their students, and their staff. More than 20 years after the fact, when other allegations are introduced, the school will still do what it can to maintain its reputation, even at the cost of children's safety. 

My Verdict: This story is upsetting, but it was not as hard to read as I had anticipated. Probably the thing I had the most difficulty with was keeping track of the timeline. And for those of us who are not at all used to the world of boarding or private schools, getting around the terms and jargon may be a challenge. But Crawford's writing is straightforward and honest without being a constant barrage of awful events, despite what the book is about. And it is more than a story about a sexual assault and a cover up. It is also about the long history of sexual assaults and cover ups, as well as the issues of power, victimhood, privilege, and shame. It is a powerful account that will prove difficult for many, and understandably so, and I admire Crawford for telling it.  

Favorite Moment: In the acknowledgements, we get some updates concerning recent developments at St. Paul's, which are a little encouraging. It is hard to pick a favorite part beyond this as so many of the events in this book are heartbreaking.  

Recommended Reading: My Dark Vanessa by Kate Elizabeth Russell is a fiction novel that explores a similar story line of an inappropriate relationship between a young girl and her teacher at a highly regarded boarding school. Perhaps the most disturbing thing about the story is that it happens in real life all of the time.