As part of my ongoing effort to read more science fiction, I picked up The Possibilities by Yael Goldstein-Love. When a new mother is obsessed with what could have been, she also cannot help but think that maybe it is. Maybe the alternate reality she cannot seem to stop thinking about is out there, and not entirely out of reach.
The Situation: Hannah is having a bit of a day. Right now she has realized that she has forgotten her car keys in her therapist's office, so she must make the distasteful decision between lugging her eight month-old son back up the parking garage stairs, or taking a chance to leave him briefly so this detour will go faster. Hannah's husband, Adam, has accused her of being over-protective, bordering on obsessive, but since Jack was born, she cannot shake a strange memory from his birth. But can it be called a memory when it did not actually happen? Hannah remembers Jack not surviving the birth, and yet here he is. She relishes his smell, the curls of his hair, even his stubborn inability to sleep through the night. So when Jack vanishes when Hannah is on her way to retrieve her keys, she is understandably shaken, even after he just as mysteriously reappears.
The Problem: Hannah's therapist is quick to explain away what she witnessed as a symptom of part of a larger problem. Hannah is a new and anxious mother after all, and the lack of sleep certainly is not helping matters. Then there is the issue of Adam announcing he is leaving her. And also, there are the brief and confusing visions she has of other versions of her own life. But it is when Jack disappears from his crib, seemingly into thin air, that Hannah begins to seriously consider her 'memory' from the hospital eight months ago, as well as the mystery surrounding her own mother's unraveling. To get her son back, Hannah may have to reach out to the different versions of herself, while maintaining a tenuous hold on her own reality.
Genre, Themes, History: This is a science fiction novel set in an around modern day San Francisco. Hannah and Adam are new parents of an eight month-old son named Jack, and while they would not trade parenthood for anything else in the world, raising him has taken a toll on them and their marriage. From the time of his birth, Hannah has become aware of an alternate version of events, and unfortunately, in this one, Jack did not survive. The idea of alternate realities is a central theme here, with many of them splitting off seemingly on the day Jack was born. Maternal love is also explored, as well as the uncertainty of the postpartum period.
My Verdict: What works for this book is the exploration of the idea of alternative realities and timelines; how a major event like giving birth can cause such a thing to happen on a large scale; and its honest look at motherhood, grief, anxiety, and even insecurity. What does not work is the pacing, as there are moments that are incredibly slow, mostly the parts with the explanations of what Hannah is experiencing, and how such a thing could be possible. I would not categorize this book as a thriller as the pacing is not quick enough for that. Also, while the idea of losing a child is naturally devastating, something about either Hannah's situation, or the way she is dealing with it, or maybe just her character in general, made it not that interesting to me.
Favorite Moment: There are moments when the reader is given brief glimpses into the kind of books Hannah used to write. These kind of moments always intrigue me in stories. I love when characters play a fictional game and the readers are given a short (but ultimately incomplete) picture of it. Or when, like in this case, a character is an author and describes the books they write. Or a character that is an avid reader talks about their favorite fictional series.
Favorite Character: Given how complex the idea of alternate realities can get, I enjoyed the straight-forward nature of Hannah's therapist, Dr. Goodman. She may seem initially cold and standoffish, even a bit judgmental, but she turns out to be both helpful and supportive.
Recommended Reading: Perhaps a book the explores the idea of alternate realities a bit more successfully is The Midnight Library by Matt Haig.
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