Nonfiction: Stay Sexy & Don't Get Murdered by Karen Kilgariff & Georgia Hardstark

The full title of today's selection is Stay Sexy & Don't Get Murdered: The Definitive How-To Guide by Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark, hosts of the incredibly popular true crime podcast, My Favorite Murder. I am extremely new to the world of podcasts, and typically reserve them for long drives, so I have not had the pleasure of listening to an episode of MFM, but I plan to change that. This book has introduced me to two personalities I am interested in becoming more familiar with, while also learning more about true crime.

Genre, Themes, History: This is a nonfiction book that is less about the serial killers that Kilgariff and Hardstark have become known for discussing, but more about their separate journeys to become who they are today. Sure, the occasional serial killer or famous case gets thrown out there, but mostly the book is about the mistakes the two women have made, what it was like for them growing up in 1980s-1990s California, and how a mutual obsession led them to be the duo they are now. The two met at a party where they began talking about a popular television series that dealt with a man going on trial for the murder of his wife, and they talked all night. Eventually, after many more talks, Hardstark suggested they start a true crime podcast, and Kilgariff agreed. With an honesty that begins on the first page, and blended with a good amount of humor, the two women discuss the damaging effects of insisting on politeness, the fate of the 'sweet baby angel,' how not to be a lunatic, the value of work, the importance of paying for your own stuff, and much more. It is an offbeat guide for the crazy world we live in, written by women who admit to not having the answers, and that they still get it wrong sometimes.  

My Verdict: It is funny, it is honest, it is encouraging, while also a little bit heartbreaking in parts, and I learned a great deal. By their own admission, both Kilgariff and Hardstark have come a long way, and they are here now as proof that it is possible to make it out of the hard times and that they do not last forever. If I had an issue with the book it is that it can feel a bit unfocused. Having them both tell their own story in their own way was fine, as eventually all of the pieces come together, but it felt as if some points that were introduced at the beginning of certain sections ended up being abandoned and forgotten. Other times, it was hard to hold onto the connection that was being made after wading through a meandering (though always interesting and/or entertaining) story. But the overall lightness of it - despite it actually dealing with some heavy themes, and I am not just talking about the serial killers - does not seem in bad taste. Those that are already lovers of the podcast may still learn a few things about their beloved hosts, while those of us who have not listened to the show can still learn something and gain some insight from two women who have made a tough journey to be where they are now.

Favorite Moment: My favorite section was Karen's Advice on How Not to Be Thirteen Forever. In it, Kilgariff explores why being 13 years old is the absolute worst (I would argue that almost all of the teenage years are terrible, but maybe that's just me). Using her own experience as the example, she highlights why 13 is a hard year, and how lunch time in 8th grade can be a social minefield where young girls have already figured out how to be terrible to each other. 

Recommended Reading: There is much mention of Michelle McNamara's I'll Be Gone in the Dark, and with good reason. It is easily one of my favorite books from 2018.